Identify Conversation Derailers part of Doing It Right

11. Identify Conversation Derailers

Tool Preview: Enables you to identify three broad categories of behaviors that lead to conversations becoming derailed.

Instructions:Use this guide to familiarize yourself with the types of derailers you may unintentionally introduce into your conversations at work. It can also be used as a training tool to sensitize others and improve the overall listening skills of the organization.
Common Communication Derailers:

Behavior Category Specific Behavior Type or Cause Description

Listening With Bias Defensive Developing your response to what you’re hearing while the other person is still talking to you

Adversarial Listening with a focus upon picking out points of difference so that you can negate the perceptions of another.

Listening Without Focus Multi-tasking “Listening” while doing or thinking about other things at the same time/td>

Lack of Time Engaging in a conversation when you do not have the physical, mental or emotional time to engage authentically

Listening Without Respect Impatience Communicating that you understand another’s message, whether you do or not, because you don’t have the time, or because you do not value what you think is being said. (Listening without focus, which comes from not having the time, is disrespectful.)

Jumping to Conclusions Deciding that what others are going to say is WRONG, before you listen to everything they have to say; interrupting and telling them what they should think.

Too Much Ego Failing to listen to the message of another from the context of their perspective, rather than only from your own perspective.

Behavior Category	Specific Behavior Type or Cause	Description
Listening With Bias	Defensive	Developing your response to what you’re hearing while the other person is still talking to you
Adversarial	Listening with a focus upon picking out points of difference so that you can negate the perceptions of another.
Listening Without Focus	Multi-tasking	“Listening” while doing or thinking about other things at the same time/td>
Lack of Time	Engaging in a conversation when you do not have the physical, mental or emotional time to engage authentically
Listening Without Respect	Impatience	Communicating that you understand another’s message, whether you do or not, because you don’t have the time, or because you do not value what you think is being said. (Listening without focus, which comes from not having the time, is disrespectful.)
Jumping to Conclusions	Deciding that what others are going to say is WRONG, before you listen to everything they have to say; interrupting and telling them what they should think.
Too Much Ego	Failing to listen to the message of another from the context of their perspective, rather than only from your own perspective.

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